Ex- English captain Lewis Moody has disclosed he has been diagnosed with motor neurone disease and stated he cannot yet confront the full ramifications of the muscle-deteriorating condition that ended the lives of other rugby players Doddie Weir and Rob Burrow.
The 47-year-old, who was a member of the 2003 Rugby World Cup-winning side and secured numerous English and European titles with Leicester, gave an interview to BBC Breakfast two weeks after finding out he has the illness.
"There's a certain confronting what lies ahead and hesitating to fully comprehend that at the moment," he stated.
"This doesn't mean I don't understand where it's progressing. We grasp that. But there is absolutely a reluctance to look the future in the face for now."
Moody, conversing together with his wife Annie, explains instead he feels "at ease" as he directs his attention to his immediate health, his family and getting ready for when the condition worsens.
"Perhaps that's trauma or maybe I process things in another way, and after I have the information, it's easier," he stated further.
First Signs
Moody found out he had MND after noticing some reduced power in his shoulder area while working out in the gym.
After rehabilitation was ineffective for the problem, a set of scans showed nerves in his central nervous system had been compromised by MND.
"You're presented with this condition identification of MND and we're rightly extremely affected about it, but it's rather peculiar because I feel like nothing's wrong," he continued.
"I don't experience sick. I don't sense poorly
"My symptoms are quite slight. I have some muscle loss in the fingers and the shoulder region.
"I'm still capable of performing anything and everything. And optimistically that will carry on for as long as is feasible."
Illness Progression
MND can progress rapidly.
Based on the charity MND Association, the disease claims a one-third of people within a 365 days and more than half within two years of detection, as ingestion and inhalation become increasingly challenging.
Treatment can only retard deterioration.
"It's never me that I experience sorrow for," commented an emotional Moody.
"It's about the sadness around having to inform my mum - as an only child - and the implications that has for her."
Family Impact
Speaking from the household with his wife and their canine companion by his side, Moody was consumed with emotion when he discussed telling his sons - 17-year Dylan and 15-year-old Ethan - the devastating news, saying: "This was the hardest thing I've ever had to do."
"These are two wonderful boys and that was rather upsetting," Moody stated.
"We were seated on the sofa in weeping, Ethan and Dylan both hugging in each other, then the dog jumped over and started cleaning the moisture off our faces, which was somewhat funny."
Moody explained the priority was staying in the present.
"We have no treatment and that is why you have to be so intensely directed on just embracing and appreciating each moment now," he commented.
"As my wife mentioned, we've been very blessed that the only real decision I made when I concluded playing was to allocate as much duration with the kids as feasible. We won't recover those times back."
Player Connection
Elite sportspeople are unevenly influenced by MND, with investigations suggesting the prevalence of the illness is up to six times greater than in the wider community.
It is thought that by limiting the O2 obtainable and creating harm to neural pathways, frequent, strenuous exercise can initiate the illness in those already genetically susceptible.
Sports Playing Days
Moody, who earned 71 England appearances and competed with the British and Irish Lions in New Zealand in 2005, was nicknamed 'Mad Dog' during his professional days, in acknowledgment of his fearless, persistent method to the game.
He participated through a stress fracture of his leg for a duration with Leicester and once caused a practice altercation with team-mate and friend Martin Johnson when, irritated, he left a tackle pad and started engaging in physical contacts.
After entering as a replacement in the Rugby World Cup championship win over Australia in 2003, he won a ball at the rear of the line-out in the crucial passage of play, creating a foundation for half-back Matt Dawson to snipe and Jonny Wilkinson to kick the match-winning drop-goal.
Assistance System
Moody has previously notified Johnson, who skippered England to that victory, and a couple of other ex- team-mates about his diagnosis, but the remaining individuals will be finding out his news with the rest of public.
"We'll have a time when we'll need to depend on their backing but, at the present, just having that type of affection and acknowledgment that people are there is the crucial thing," he commented.
"This game is such a great group.
"I mentioned to the kids the other day, I've had an amazing life.
"Even when it finished now, I've appreciated all of it and embraced all of it and got to do it with remarkable people.
"Being able to consider your enthusiasm your profession, it's one of the greatest privileges.
"Achieving this for so long a duration with the groups that I did it with was a delight. And I know they will wish to help in whatever way they can and I anticipate having those talks."
